How to Confront Your Loved One About Going to Rehab: Tips to Get to Recovery
When it comes to alcohol or drug addiction, every person in the addict’s circle is affected. Because of fears that addicted loved ones will angrily storm out or leave indefinitely on bad terms, families miss opportunities to communicate with their spouses, children, or parents in need of rehab, detox, and a community that supports who they are and the struggles they face. Walking on eggshells around an addict is no fun — and it’s not effective, either. Here are some suggestions to guide you through the process of opening up dialog in a healthful, loving way.
Don’t Confront Your Loved One Unless S/he is Sober
When you decide to engage in conversation with your loved one, ensure that s/he is sober. When an addict is high or drunk, they’re not clearheaded or in control of their faculties. It’s imperative for you to converse knowing what you’re saying is being heard. While nobody is a fan of discussing their shortcomings and may to tune out what they don’t want to hear, people in an altered state cannot receive your message with the sense of emotional and mental connection they might have otherwise. The result is a person who invariably feels they are being attacked or judged.
Openly and Honestly Discuss Your Fears and How this Issue Makes You Feel
When you begin your conversation, make sure you begin by explaining how much you love him or her, how much s/he means to you, and give deeply loving reasons why you felt compelled to discuss this issue. In order of priority, discuss what s/he means to family, friends, coworkers, and others, and how everyone in his or her circle is prepared to pull together to ensure s/he gets the help needed to recover. If your loved one is receptive to this conversation, your next step is to get in touch with Luminance Recovery so we can begin to prepare for the arrival of your loved one in need. Congratulate your son, daughter, spouse, or friend for making a decision that will transform their future.
No Matter What the Response is from Your Loved One, Remain Calm, and Don’t Judge
It’s often the case that conversations about addiction don’t always go so smoothly. But no matter what your loved one says or how s/he says it, by remaining calm and not judging, you remove the power for the situation to escalate further. The addict within your loved one may try to hurt you to get you to stop and give up. But with the resolve to maintain non-judgment and stay collected, s/he may be more likely to settle down and come back to the table. An important tip: if your loved one needs to take a break from the conversation, allow that space — allowing the addict to witness you’re not judging, prodding, or being forceful may just be the thing that helps him or her understand just how earnest and heartfelt the place you’re coming from is.
Still No Progress? Elicit the Help of a Professional Interventionist
A professional interventionist is an excellent option, especially for families who are fearful of confronting their loved ones on their own. With the help of an interventionist, things like planning, deciding priorities, who should speak first, and ways to encourage your loved one to stay through the whole process are all put into experienced hands. In addition, a seasoned interventionist can ask questions family members may not think to during tense or pivotal moments. With experience on your side, you stand a better chance of getting your loved on to a rehabilitation facility when they have disregarded other advances.
No Matter the End Result, Remember You Did All You Could
Sometimes, no matter how hard a family tries, even through professional intervention, family therapy, healthcare, and more, an addict evades all attempts his or her loved ones have made to get them sober and back in the game of life. In some instances, addicts will hit rock bottom on their own before they come back to their families and submit to the request for help with addiction. In other instances, it may not matter what a family tries: this is especially painful, but there is help for families, including Al-Anon, Nar-Anon, and other services both public and private, free and paid.